Tuesday, November 15

College Fashion Tips 2011

Dust Mite said He Teaches Fashion 101
So who is this DIVA with the pretty smile and face to match? (It’s ME at 20 Duhh!) Well whoever she is she needs a name. (I think I’ve got one!!!) I think I’ll call her Stephanie. (Yayy Stephanie!!!) Look at this picture, don’t you wonder if she’s at a cookout. (Two hotdogs PLEASE!) You’d have to drag me KICKING AND SCREAMING to get me to go dressed like that because THE SECOND I get mustard on my dress I’MMA LOSE IT! Stephanie, your dress is BEAUTIFUL and the sun adds more light to make you shine like a *Superstar*. Need an example, just look at me. (Just Kidding! I’m no *Superstar*.)

Closet Creatures take note, this is either one of those situations where Stephanie’s older than she looks, OR Stephanie is dressing older than she looks. (What do you think?) My guess would be that she’s college student in a teenage body. (Her face gives it ALL away.) Regardless of whether she’s old or young I know one thing, this is DEFINITELY NOT Stephanie’s first time looking good NOR will it be her last. Stephanie has CLEARLY been bitten by the “Fashion Bug” and has been infected with “Fashion Sense”. (You LUCKY girl YOU!) I think I might have an Idea to get some of Stephanie’s “Fashion Sense”. (A CRAZY idea actually!) Can I clone your brain then eat it so I can have your “Fashion Sense” in my head? (I’M HUNGRY!!!)

Take a CLOSE LOOK at Stephanie’s outfit. Don’t you think she’s making a “Fashion Statement” wearing a bracelet on her right arm and leg? (Umm, maybe?) I think she is, and her statement has to be “Get Right and Fly Straight!” (Okay, I don’t get it either?) Speaking of “Right”, I just noticed how perfect Stephanie’s flats go with her dress. (A match made in Heaven!!!) In fact, the whole picture looks like the cover-shoot for a popular fashion magazine. I can see it now, “College Fashion Tips: 2011” featuring Miss Stephanie. When people grab this issue and see this picture they are going to LOVE EVERYTHING about it. Stephanie, your outfit is “Glam” deserves two thumbs up.


Saturday, November 12

Mickey Mouse's House of Rock!

Snip Snap has a CRUSH on Minnie!
Soooo, who thinks this guy is good-looking no matter what he wears. (Me? Guilty as charged!)   Well I think Mr. “Good-looking” deserves a name; I think that name will be David. (Hi David!!!) I’ve seen all sorts of “Street Trends” amongst men but, David’s is VERY unique to me. (Umm, what do you mean?) Think about it, how often would you find MEN wearing PINK Mickey Mouse hoodies with Police Aviators? (Answer: Umm, on the 33th of January.) Despite his odd fashions, David STILL looks amazing; I mean he looks like an underwear model for Hanes FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

(Off Topic.) I wonder what Mickey is playing on David’s hoodie. Could it be a B.B. King Masterpiece or is it an Ozzy Osbourne Nightmare? (Answer: Neither, it’s a Solo Mickey Air-Guitar Special.) Regardless of what he’s playing, it looks like he’s jamming, and I WANT TO JAM WITH HIM! (Weird Thought.) You know, I’m starting to imagine that David is probably who Mickey Mouse would look like if he were human. (What???) With those looks, he’d have ALL the ladies in love and EVERY man jealous. (Speaking of “jealous”) wonder how Mickey’s wife Minnie would feel? You’d think she’d get jealous but I beg to differ. She might feel turned on by a “REAL MAN”. (Okay, enough thinking, and back to the Topic.)

I want to play a little game. (I LOVE GAMES!) The name of the game is called, “Guess What David’s Doing?” (Here we go.) Okay, my guess at what David’s doing is that he’s rushing out to a party that he’s late for, and with the way he’s grabbing his collar, it looks like he’s a “Man on a Mission”. (Operation: Party-Crasher.) I’ll bet that David’s “Mission” is to “Infiltrate” the party “Incognito” to obtain TOP SECRET FILES from a safe in the attic of a mansion. (Umm, can you say Farfetched?) The only catch is that David MUST wear is this coat and sunny glasses. (Now can you say MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?) Okay game over, David I REALLY LIKE your outfit and I think it deserves two thumbs up.



Friday, November 4

Plain and Simple

Lucky: "I LOVE YOU MADONNA!"
Let’s face it, when it comes to Fashion Simplicity is always a PLUS. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise if I say this woman gets an A + +. (Umm, who is she?) I’ve taken the liberty of giving this “Lovely Lady” the name Amber. (Yayy for Amber!) Most people consider this style of dress to be “Mommish” and “Boring”, but Amber’s outfit is rare exception. (Comparison TIME!!!) This off topic, but I feel like Amber looks like a VERY FAMILIAR person. She looks like a famous singer WE ALL KNOW named Madonna!!! (Umm, why Madonna?) Take a CLOSE LOOK at Amber, you’ll notice her nice, crisp lips marked with red lipstick and her iconic, long blonde hair. (TWINS!)

Despite who or what Amber looks like, the fact of the matter is her outfit is PERFECT. Your know Amber has great Fashion Sense if she can sport a blue jean shirt with a long, white skirt and look GREAT. Plus Amber had the purse to match, Madonna couldn’t even top that. (Madonna please DON’T sue me.) Let’s face it, looks DO MATTER and people respect others who “Dress to Impress”. (I know, sad but true.) Take for example Beyonce, while the majority of her fans adore her for her music, others look to see what she’s wearing for the NEXT BIG “Fashion Trend”. Do you think her fans would buy her albums if she wore Jeans and a T-Shirt with yesterday’s food crumbs in her videos and on stage? (Answer: She can put a LID on it!!!)

Ladies you might want to take note of Amber’s outfit. Remember first appearances leave LASTING Impressions with EVERYONE. Think about it, most outfits now-a-days are (,for a lack of better terms,) “Clad” and “Skanky”. Young women get an, “Oh you’re hot want to hang out sometime?” type "come-on" from BOYS. Amber’s outfit will get you a, “Hello my name is Larry, would you like to go out for Lunch sometime?” invite from MEN. Now tell me, which would you prefer? (Answer: It should be OBVIOUS to ANY REAL woman.)



Thursday, October 27

Business or Pleasure?

Mr. Snuggles wants "legs" for desert.
Question: “Woman with Class”, or “Total Snob”??? (I’ll take “Woman with Class” for $500 Alex.) The answer should be obvious to ANY “Fashion Enthusiast”. (Answer: Class Duhh.) Sadly this photo did not come with a name, but I think I’ve found one. (Bing!) Her face looks like a Mandy, so I think that’s what I’ll call her. (Mandy BABYYYYY!!!) Mandy, where did you get your outfit and please tell me it is under $200. (Okay, I won’t press my luck.) Look at those stockings, aren’t they just perfect? Her legs are so smooth and slender that it makes you wonder, “How does she do it”? (So what’s missing?) Whether it’s on the outfit or the person, something needs to GRAB the audience’s attention. I believe in Mandy’s case, her hair should be blond. (Madonna BABYYYYY!!!)

Miss Mandy is probably 24, but her outfit makes her look MUCH MORE mature and sophisticated. (Umm, what’s that supposed to mean???) As you all know, most young women like to “show the goods” to ANY and EVERYBODY for attention. (Hey look at me, I’M PRETTY!!!) Mandy is grabbing more attention without showing anything at all. Her cleavage isn’t out there for the world to see and her rear-end isn’t on the front-page newspaper. (EXTRA, EXTRA, see all my Baggage!!!) So even if Mandy’s a “Total Snob”, at least she knows how to dress with class. (Mandy: 1/ Haters: 0!!!)

Mandy’s outfit is one of the first I’ve seen where her bag is a “low profile” item. (And you’re point please???) In a woman’s mind, a bag is one of the MOST IMPORTANT items that represents her status in the world. So, if you don’t have a $500 Gucci bag, then you’re a “nobody” in society right? (WRONG! My bag didn’t make me, and a WOMAN probably made my bag!!!) Mandy didn’t need a $500 Gucci bag to show that she had class, she just needed herself and a little “Fashion Sense”. Overall, I LOVE Mandy’s outfit and it gets 2 thumbs up.



Saturday, October 22

Just Simply Gorgeous

Lucky's on the "Other End".
Can I call you Heather? (I think I heard a YES!!!) What can I say about Heather’s outfit other then, “Just Simply Gorgeous”! The first thing that caught my eye was her nice knit sweater; doesn’t it remind you of sheep’s wool or the clouds on spring day? (a.k.a. My Dreams.) Her sweater is made just thick enough to keep you nice and warm on a fall afternoon. (Can you say, COZY!) What can you say about her nice brown cork heels and her brown satchel bag? (Speechless!) On to her shorts, don’t you think they make her legs look longer than then what they are? (Duhh, that’s the point.) I only wish I had legs like that because they’re long, smooth and sexy. (Uhh, what about the shorts???) Her shorts are great but look at her watch; usually those are the kind that “clad” and “bulky” on women but there are always “exceptions” to the Fashion Rules. The watch actually ties her Necklace in perfectly. (ONE QUESTION!!!) Heather, can I clone you? (Obsessed I Know, but I’m JUST KIDDING!!!)

Checkout the outfit behind, don’t you think it looks even better? The Mannequin looks like she’s singing, “Stop, in the Name of LOVEEEE!!! Before you break my HEART!!!! (Remember that song? If not, GOOGLE IT!) I wonder where Heather shops. (Address Please!) I also wonder who she’s talking to on her phone. (Can you say MEDDLESOME???) I personally think she’s scheduling lunch with her date for today, what do you think? (Okay, I’ll shut up and get back on Topic.)

If any woman had on this outfit, they should feel like a “Model” but act like a Lady”. (Umm, what’s that supposed to mean???)By that, I mean you should know that you are worth a million bucks but act as though you’re no better than any other woman. With that, you’d have a gorgeous outfit and a “touch of class” which could score the man of your dreams. (a.k.a. My Dreams.)



Friday, October 14

A Woman on the Go

Dust Mite said he has the Taser: YIKES!!!
Fabulous, just Fabulous!!!  We have a woman in her mid 20’s wearing a very stylish outfit that screams, “Lookout World, here I Come.” Any woman wearing this would command immediate respect and have all eyes on her everywhere she went.  This woman (,who I’ll name Ashley,) has a Suede Peacock Coat over top of what looks to be a light-blue blouse with a wool plaid scarf loosely wrapped around her neck complete with a Brown Leather Designer Bag. (WHEW, that was looooonnng.) But let’s not forget her skinny jeans (, because I LOVE SKINNY JEANS!!!).

You know, it doesn’t even matter that nothing on Ashley really matches because everything goes together (OXY MORONNNNNN!!!). Think about it, the different color browns drawn attention to her Bag while the scarf adds a designer look to her outfit. (Oops, I take back what I said just now.) The Black strap on her bag matches the black buttons on her coat. I bet Ashley didn’t even realize that, and even if she did, she probably didn’t care. Ashley’s just to cool for her own good.

Let’s set away from the outfit for a second and look at the expression on her face. “Umm can you make this quick, I got things to do.” If I was the photographer, I’d get these photos and split because she looks like she’s going to call the cops. Or Maybe she’s going to reach into her bag and taze him, “Ahhh, Don’t Taze me Bro, (I mean Sis)!!!” (Remember that, if not, GOOGLE IT!!!)  You couldn’t pay me enough to even sneak a snapshot of this Lady, let along get up in her face. No Way, No How!

Just for fun let’s play a little game of “I Spy” with this picture shall we? Here’s your clue: It’s a priceless trait to have, yet ALL the money in the world couldn't buy it. I know it might be hard to see, but look closely, do you see what I see??? Give up??? The Answer is CLASS. Let’s play again. I’m kidding, but in all seriousness I love everything about this outfit and the woman wearing it. It is, sleek, and it also screams, HEY LOOK AT ME, I’m from New York.”  I’m sorry, but I’ve got to commend this woman because now more than ever people wear outfits that scream,HEY LOOK AT ME, I don’t CARE!!! This Picture gets two thumbs up and is definitely something I would want to see in my closet.